The beginning of the week is my least favorite. I mean weekends really aren’t much different but there’s less time to think. During the week that’s all I do. I think about how I should have said this instead of that or I should have done this sooner instead of waiting so long.
See, too much time.
It’s hard to have a routine when you literally have nothing to wake up for or to. That sounds melodramatic, sorry what I meant was I don’t have a reason to get out of bed other than the fact that I should,
I’m fine once I’m going to classes because I get into a routine and everything is good. But once that routine is gone, I’m lost.
I NEED a reason to get out of bed or I won’t do it. And the longer I stay in bed the worse it gets. I know this but I can’t stop myself from being depressed. If I could I would. I mean duh, who wants to be depressed.
So today I was in bed most of the day. I managed to do some wash and work on the collage thing I was working on but I didn’t do enough to feel good.
The heat isn’t helping either, or the fact that I’m afraid to turn on my AC because when I took the thingy off I found a bee’s hive inside the grate box thing that my AC is in. I need the AC but I also don’t want a swarm of bees coming in my vent, ya know?
So I have my fan blowing directly on me but it’s only reaching half of my body. So my legs are cool but the top half of me is sweaty. Blehh.
I keep telling myself that I just have stay positive and remind myself of things i have to look forward to, but what happens when those things run out?
This was a depressing Monday. But at least it’s almost over.